It's my birthday in a month, so I thought that I would have a little sale at www.champignons.co.uk and type in the coupon code: MAYBIRTHDAY to claim 20% off screenprints as your mighty prize.

Here are some of the birthday treats I won't be buying (because bills)

Firstly, a comic. Comics are always good. This one is called 'The Encyclopedia of Early Earth' and I am desperate to read it. That and Nobrow 8 (the hysteria one)

 Also, I am about to suffer the dreadful fate of running out of mini instax film. I always need more instax film, so it's the perfect present. It's odd that no one has ever given me any, really- you could give it to me every year and I'd still be happy. Unless my camera broke, which is a fate worse than running out of film. Let's not think about it.

Next we come to the woeful tale of my plant life. I have to admit my airplant collection did NOT like moving house. Everything but my caput medusae is now firmly dead. I feel terrible. Sorry airplants. I'd like to say I'll never forget you but what I really want to do it buy some more so I can forget I killed you, which is preferable.

 Lastly, another horticultural tragedy is my kumquat, lovingly named death. I bought death about 10 years ago and he has spent the majority of time dying, but never quite achiveing the status (hence the name. Never gave me a single kumquat, the miserable shit. Last year, death had an uncharacteristic growth spurt, and looked verdant and lush yet still strangly fruit free. Close inspection revealed this is because death is no longer a kumquat. His new name is death the bitter orange- the root graft has survived and is growing enormous spikes (he's very bitter) while the kumquat has finally done the honerable thing and kicked the bucket. So I'd like to replace my kumquat too, particularly as I have kept my calamodin orange fighting fit and full of oranges for many years now, so firmly feel that the fault is with death (both the kumquat, and the principle) But anyway, I digress. Coupon code. Use it.

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